Selfalot

Daily Quote: “It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.” Dick Cavett

Many of us are very unwilling to ask for feedback. This is because we are scared of what we will hear. We would rather keep our head buried in the sand and not hear any bad news or negative feedback.

As much as this is understandable it doesn’t help not knowing the truth. If you are offending your partner by teasing them mercilessly in public and laughing at them, wouldn’t it be better to know that this is hurting them?

Ask how they enjoyed the outing to their friends. And if they tell you that they were hurt by your constant teasing you will be able to repair the damage rather than find your partner has moved out and is asking for a divorce.

Getting feedback so that you can know whether you are heading in the wrong direction can be a lot less damaging than waiting for the end result. This could be with something to do with your health. Got a lump, rather get feedback from the doctor as to whether it is a harmful growth or not. It will be easier to fix it if you act quickly rather than wait for it to become a problem.

The same is true about everything. If you are studying for a degree and you are in your first year, it will be better for you to find out at the beginning of the academic year whether you are coping with the course or not. Get feedback from your lecturers and teachers. It could save you a lot of money and heart ache.

In many cases when you ask for feedback you will find that you are the last person to know. Your partner has already complained about your behaviour to her friends and family. Your lecturer has already discussed you progress with the head of the department.

If you are a bad manager the whole office knows already. If you are slipping up as a sales person not only does your sales director know this already but your clients as well. People are too scared to offend you and to tell you what is wrong. They would rather go to somebody else. Now you are suddenly losing clients or finding nobody in the office wants to work with you.

Find out what’s going on so that you can fix what is broken. You cannot improve your management skills, your relationships, your sales performance if you don’t get feedback and you don’t know how you can improve your delivery.

Wouldn’t it be easier to walk into the office in the morning with smiling faces welcoming you rather than everybody scurrying away and avoiding you? How would you know what is happening if you don’t ask for feedback? And how often do we pretend everything is ok?

Get rid of those blinkers and ask for feedback. Ask your partner, your friends, your colleagues, your sales director, your clients or your coach. Make it a habit to ask for feedback. Ask how you can improve and what would make the situation better for everybody.

Once you have your feedback be grateful you got it. Remember the person giving you feedback is risking your rejection by offering you feedback. Accept feedback with gratitude and understand how lucky you are that you can fix things before they get too serious.