Daily Quote: “A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.” Bo Bennett
The idea of rejection happens in our own mind. We feel the rejection with our emotions. Could it be just a perception? Just because somebody said ‘no’ to us does not mean anything more than that the person said no.
Yet we make so much more out of it. We take personal umbrage if somebody denies us a request. In fact in some instances we feel rejected without even asking first. We just ‘know’ they are going to say ‘no’, so we feel rejected without even trying.
The myth in the concept of rejection is the fact that there is no rejection. We ask somebody for help and they don’t have time, are too busy with problems of their own, are on their way to an important meeting, feel that they can’t help in any case and many more reasons.
None of these reasons have anything to do with you the asker. They are all centered around the other person’s situation and emotional space they are in. In fact what we tend to overlook is that other people, just as we are, are so involved in what their own needs are that they are not aware most of the time that their ‘no’ reply could even be considered a rejection.
Yet we make it to be that. There are many people who allow a ‘no’ to influence their future life. In some cases this perceived rejection can lead to serious psychological problems. Young people who behave badly blame their parents for having rejected them, or that the school system didn’t treat them well or maybe their peers ignored them.
In many cases this might not be true. Parents who ignore their offspring are so involved in their own egos, they can’t see their children. They didn’t reject them, they are just too busy with themselves.
That could mean the fact that parents can’t get away from their own addictions to alcohol or drugs to take note of their offspring. It could be a father who is always at the office, a mother who has to work as well to support the family and more. Yet the child could view this as personal rejection.
When we view every action by another person towards ourselves as a possible form of rejection then we have a problem in living our lives. The consequence of anticipating rejection even when there is none, means that we are unable to grow within our own person.
We would be reluctant to move towards a goal that involves the participation of other people as we would expect rejection along the way. This anticipated rejection would stop us from wanting to move forward.
What if this rejection is purely a feeling we experience rather than an actual fact? What if the other person means us no harm, or does not think we are a bad person for asking? All of those perceived harmful feelings we experience when somebody says ‘no’ are all meaningless.
Just because somebody can’t help or has to say ‘no’ to a request we make does not make us a failure. It does not make us an unworthy person and it does not mean that our goals should be abandoned.
